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AITJ for refusing to let my dad “practice retirement” by staying in my guest room for a month while criticizing everything I do?
Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.
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By day five, the daughter does the only sane thing available. She shortens the month to a week, gives him a clear end date, and reclaims her space before the “practice” turns permanent. Dad reacts like he has been betrayed by the concept of boundaries. Out come the lines about being anti-family and ungrateful for his wisdom. Mom’s suggestion that he just needed time to adjust misses the point entirely.
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Nobody needs to adjust to being quietly walked over in their own home. Saying yes to a visit does not equal signing up for a full-time lifestyle critique. Cutting the experiment short is not cruel. It is exactly what retirement should look like for everyone else involved: peaceful, limited, and nowhere near the thermostat.
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63-year-old dad decides to “practice” retirement by moving in with daughter for a month, micromanaging her home and routine until she ends his visit cold: ‘After 5 days I told him I didn’t think the month-long trial run was going to work’
Many things in life require rehearsing: asking your mirror out on a date a couple of hundred times before actually asking your crush, delivering the work presentation in your car a couple of times before doing it in a meeting room. That kind of thing.
But this Dad is one of a kind. He decides to rehearse retirement by moving into his adult daughter's life like it is a test environment, not a home. The plan sounds harmless in theory. One month visit, slow down, get a feel for not working. In practice, it takes about two days for the trial run to feel like an unannounced audit. Fridge reorganized, appliances unplugged, furniture critiqued, grocery choices reviewed like expense reports. Even the cat gets evaluated and found lacking.
Retirement, in this man's head, apparently means having free time to micromanage someone else's habits. A quiet apartment becomes a problem. An air purifier running turns into a source of suspicion. Pre-cut vegetables get framed as a financial crime. The morning routine is treated as a broken system in need of optimization. He literally sits and watches his daughter get ready for the day and then offers notes, like a supervisor who followed her home and forgot to clock out. The whole vibe is less visiting parent and more corporate compliance officer on sabbatical.
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